If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize