My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
