You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you made out with another girl for some wings
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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