We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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