is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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