remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
