just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
