i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
