That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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