everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
sarcasm needs its own font
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
