when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
How naked do you want me to be?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
