my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
