sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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