I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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