We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
