he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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