you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
