yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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