I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
