and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
