You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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