i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
