I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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