Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
