you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
