he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
