I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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