So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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