why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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