Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
