You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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