Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
