I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
