This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize