Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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