I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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