I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wear drunk well.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
