so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
