theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
