dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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