I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize