At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
