Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
