this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
