it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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