Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
