I didn't shave. On purpose
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
