Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
