this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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