HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
