I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
