im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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