New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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