drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
