Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
