Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
