i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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