sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
