Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
