I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
