You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
