Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
