mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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