I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My vagina just recognized that song.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
