she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
