nut hugger
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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